Mental Health Monday: a poem for my daughter...




Depression is a friend of mine.


I know it's hard to understand,
But there's something that I must explain:
From the first moment that I first held your hand,
I was overwhelmed with pain.

I'm a mum without a mum,
And in a way I always was,
So meeting you on the outside
Was terrifying.
Your arrival meant her arrival,
Untimely, and unwanted
Just like me. 
The loneliness consumed me...
I didn't know how to be. 

I was now a mother, determined not to let you down,
Spurred on to be the best I could with no role models around. 
Two short weeks and your dad left, too, 
Back to work he went.
I guess a part of me always knew
That I wouldn't cope -
Would have no hope -
For anything getting better.
My dark days became darker.
I let you down, and couldn't forgive myself. 
I should have fought harder,
But a first-time mum is never believed, 
Never listened to, 
And never taken seriously.

My downward spiral became far worse,
And I didn't know when it would end. 
I felt like I had no-one,
No family. No friends.
And now I'm in that dark place once more,
But I'm trying to make a change.
I want to learn how to be my best
And to feel okay again.

I love you so much, with all my heart,
And I doubt that you'll ever see
Just how important you are in my life, 
For, without you, how could I be me?

I've learned to be your mummy
In spite of all the trouble
And I love you and myself now,
In fact, nothing can burst our happy bubble.
I may be facing darkness
But you give me light
And when my hope is flickering
It's you that makes me fight.


 Monday Stumble Linky

Comments

  1. Such a beautiful written and also emotional poem. Thanks for sharing it with us at Creative Mondays. Hope you can join us tomorrow.

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  2. This is so emotional and raw. Keep that hope alive. Wishing you all the love xx

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    Replies
    1. Aww thank you. It was hard to write but a true reflection of these past months and years. There is light at the end of the tunnel if you just keep looking. Thanks for commenting! X

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  3. Beautiful and meaningful words. So pure, so raw. It's tough I'm sure, but if there is hope and positivity, it will be ok in the end. Thanks for sharing this with us at #itsok

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  4. So beautifully written, thank you for sharing, it's really resonated with me xx #itsok

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    Replies
    1. Aww thank you! Remember it will get better in the end, there’s light at the end of the tunnel x

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  5. This is a beautiful poem, and I hope you can all find ways to stay in the light, and better manage the dark. Happy Mothers Day to you! xoxo #LGRTstumble xo

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Lisa! Happy Mother's Day to you, too x

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