A Reflection: My first year as a mum
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So as my little boy's first birthday approaches (5 days to
go to be precise ) I’ve found myself overwhelmed with different emotions…Where
has the year gone? Am I a good mum? I’m asking myself so many questions and the
truth is…I don’t know the answer to any of them. It seems like yesterday I was
sat in the corner of the bathroom on the floor with a positive test in my hands
shaking and freaking out (little did I know about all of the complications I was due to
face with my pregnancy).
I blinked and my pregnancy was over, one minute I was being
prepped for an emergency C section at 27 weeks…the next I was having a healthy
8lb 11 due date baby, and now he’s turning 1?! Where has the time gone? There is so
much I’ve learned over the past year and I feel there is so much I’m yet to learn
because nothing prepares you to be a parent, I read all the books, took all the
advice I was given but yet I was still sat at the end of my hospital bed scared with not
a single clue what I was doing, which leads me to what I’m about to say next…I’ve
decided to share the best 5 things I’ve learnt over the past year.
1. There is NO such thing as “the perfect parent" –
I can’t even begin to stress how important that one is. I was so determined to
be this super Disney princess-like mother when I was pregnant, but the reality
is that I’m sat here in my pyjamas after giving my little boy nuggets for lunch
(and yes I did steal a few) and looking back, I’ve put so much pressure on
myself to be like other mums. The truth is, I’m still learning…I still find
myself messaging the other mummykind mums at 23:45 practically begging for
advice to get Oliver to sleep (I have the youngest baby of the group so I
always go to them for advice).
2. Things change physically, emotionally and mentally
– this one is the biggest thing I’m still coming to terms with. My world has
changed, and speaking as someone who hates change…it’s a big deal (even though
Oliver is the best thing that has happened to me). I still find myself staring
at my body wondering when my mummy tummy will go... I still think it’s pretty
unfair that the only thing that has got smaller since having Oliver is my boobs, but there you go! Plus, nobody explains how tiring motherhood is, how you lay
awake at night either worrying about your child/children or sit up trying to
get them to sleep, making you emotional and mentally drained the next
day…I’m admitting now, I’ve been that tired before that I’ve called a customer
munchkin at work and found myself humming the peppa pig theme tune. Despite the exhaustion, with parenting comes the overwhelming sense of pride you get when you look at
your child, and that moment when you just look at them and you can physically feel
your heart bursting with love and pride.
3. Colic. Need I say anymore? The one word that will
send shivers down any parent's spine… I say colic, Oliver had reflux and colic
so I’m not sure which one is the lesser of two evils. I remember being a new
mum, scared senseless at 4 in the morning convinced something was wrong with my
baby, why was he screaming? He was fed, changed, cuddled…the works. Frantically
flicking through the pages of the parenting bible then a family member casually
said one day “it’s probably just colic, it’s pretty normal”…I remember sat
there thinking normal? NORMAL? Nothing about that is normal…but after taking
him to doctors and an osteopath (who surprisingly actually helped with his
colic) it was just colic and reflux, and it started to fade away once Oliver
was about 4 months with the help of infant Gaviscon and ranitidine both prescribed
by a GP. Just a tip for any parent with a colicy/reflux baby…Look up the tiger
in the tree baby holding pose also carry lots of muslins. I remember having to apologise
countless times to Sarah (one of the mummykind mums who is Oliver’s godmother)
for the amount he would throw up on her, her sofa and her carpet.
4. Tongue ties. Ah this takes me back, It all
started one day when I was round for a play date with Sarah and Olivia (Sarah
is my go to for 99.9% of my baby problems…well all of my problems actually). I
remember getting a bit flustered as Oliver kept unlatching while I was trying
to breast feed and Sarah mentioned tongue tie, I saw a breast feeding advisor
who confirmed it was a tongue tie, but this was at nearly 4 months and I was starting
to give up on breast feeding and was put in “boobie bootcamp” as it was
called, to get my supply back up in hope to get his tie snipped, but I was so exhausted
from post-partum psychosis and other stresses that I found myself giving up the
fight and reluctantly accepting the fact it wouldn’t get snipped…so my tip here
is never give up that fight.
5. It isn’t all doom, gloom and stress. The past year
with Oliver has been packed full of smiles, hugs and laughter. Every day I look
at him and feel so proud…especially when I think that at 27 weeks he was given
a 50% survival rate with a weight of 2lb 2oz. I look at him and know I’m going to have so many happy
memories with him…of course, there are more tears and tantrums to come but for
now in light of how fast this year has gone, I’m going to cherish every second I
have with him and I now know what they mean when they say a mother's love is
unconditional.
I get called many things but Mum is by far my favourite.
I get called many things but Mum is by far my favourite.
The first year goes so quickly! And these are great reflections on your first year with Oliver... you’re an amazing mum!
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